Every day people tell me that they are trying to love themselves, but as I proceed to enquire how, they fall silent. Self-love is not one act, it is a choice made on a daily basis.
I am Shai C, a Licensed Relationship coach, and I have been practicing in New York City, Los Angeles, and Mumbai during the last ten years. I have been trained in trauma therapy and CBT couples counseling services where I have learned that self-love is not about big things but little and repeated habits that we do without being aware of them.
Making a decision on yourself is not selfish. It’s sacred. And it is something you do over and over — every morning, every boundary, every breath.
Curing Healing in the Everyday
As I take clients through trauma therapy, I remind them that progress is usually slow. The mind waits to see fireworks, yet the process of curing is subtle, such as the way of unclenching your muscles without noticing when they happen to be tense.
You begin to realize that peace is not as dangerous as anarchy is and that calm is not as dull as it used to be. It is then that true change takes place.
The Myth of “Arriving”
The general mindset is that there is a point in healing when one feels that everything is eventually in its right place. However, there is no end to growth.
There are days when you will be sure of yourself and feel rooted. On other days you will fall into doubt. Loving both versions of yourself is a choice and it is important to love the one who is healing and the one who is still hurting.
Profiles Are Self-Respect at Work
Whenever you say no to whatever wears you down, you say yes to yourself.
Boundaries are not walls, but guidelines to healthy relationships.
During my CBT couples counseling services, I usually observe how resentment builds up whenever individuals misinterpret kindness as compliance.A long-lasting love is one that is based on respect, and that begins with respecting what you can do.
The Interaction Between You and Your Body
The first relationship you ever had is your body — and a lasting one at that.
It should be pitied and not condemned.
As an online relationship coach, I am dealing with people that have lost their body over the years, lost touch with their bodies, they pursue perfection rather than presence. The path to healing is to listen, not to judge.
In relationship therapy in India and other parts of the world, I assist clients to regain physical contact with each other by simple mindfulness: mindful movement, touch, breath, and gratitude.
And when you respect yourself every day, love oneself, it becomes a practical concept, not a theory — it is an experience.
The Power of Stillness
In a society where hard work is glorified, inactivity is insurrection.You don’t have to earn rest. You do not even need to ask to take a break.
When I instruct in trauma therapy I usually point out that rest is not avoidance, but recovery.
Silence enables feelings to be expressed, patterns to be manifested and clarity to come into being.
You have your strength in that silent interval of acting.
The healing process requires presence and not performance.
Choosing Yourself in Relationships
Making a choice does not imply not to love — rather, it is a conscious love.
As the best couple therapy in the USA, I assist couples to learn to unlearn codependency and learn to find individuality.
Healthy love gives room to both intimacy and distance. When you make a daily choice of yourself, your relationships are successful. You abdicate the pursuit of validation and begin to exchange wholeness. That transition alters the process of expression and acceptance of affection, fear to freedom.
Inconsistency Is the Real Self-Care
Self-love is not something you do on a weekend, or at the spa.
It is the ugly, tedious process of appearing on your behalf.Eat nourishing food. Speak kindly. Rest when tired. Such decisions appear insignificant but become emotionally empowering in the long run.
The teaching that I apply in CBT couples counseling services is that consistency is more important than intensity. Medicines — such as investment in your emotional savings account.
This balance is increased each day when you decide to be at peace.
Forgiveness as a Daily Reset
Every morning offers a reset.
You can excuse yourself from the previous mistakes and begin anew.
Forgetting does not mean forgiveness. It is getting rid of your guilt of yesterday.
As a Licensed Marriage Family Therapist, I remind clients that healing is best done in grace as opposed to judgment.
Self-love is enhanced when you embrace imperfection as a human being. You quit the quest to find perfect days and rejoice in the truthful ones.
In Summary: The Art of Selecting Yourself
Self-love has nothing to do with never falling — it is about knowing how to get up slowly again and again. When you make the self choice in everyday life, you start living in a different way.
You speak kinder words. You move with purpose. You rest without apology.
My daily practice, which resulted in my book, Love That Was Meant for Me, is the result of years of seeing people restore their faith in themselves.
As an online relationship coach and therapy in India, I provide services of a trauma therapy practitioner, CBT couples counseling services, and individualized sessions to clients worldwide, provided they are willing to begin their own journey.Get more thoughts and healing resources and talk about emotional intimacy and empowerment with me on Instagram and on Youtube.
